Baby's Gone

We went for an u/s on the 2nd to firm up dates, only to be told that the baby had died shortly after the first u/s. I was absolutely numb, heartbroken, angry, scared, and a whole host of emotions that I can't even describe. As soon as we got to the car, I fell apart, yelling that it wasn't fair(at which point a woman crossing the parking area started staring at me).

The doctor's office was great, I spoke to them in the afternoon of the 2nd, asking about the prometrium, and was told to immediately stop taking it, and that also the tech had faxed the u/s report to the doc's office, and it was the first thing he would see in the morning(and that he would probably want to speak to me the next day).

Thursday morning, I went out for some air, exercise and a little retail therapy at Michaels(I bought some yarn, and an instruction booklet to learn to crochet-I'm gonna give that another go in the near future). The dr called me on my cell at Michaels to let me know that we all did everything we could to keep the baby, but it was a weak pregnancy(not a total explanation, but enough for now), and that he was going to prescribe me a med to induce the miscarriage. He also said that after the bleeding is done, I'm to call them to set up an u/s to make sure everything is gone, and bloodwork to monitor beta levels. Finally, he said that next time, we'd start aggressive progesterone therapy right away.

Kevin and I decided that I would wait until Friday night to start the rx, since he had to be at a meeting on Friday afternoon. 3hrs after taking the rx, things started. By 2:30am, the baby had come out, a perfectly formed 7wk old fetus. Kevin wanted to name the baby, and so we chose Taylor as his/her name. We'll be having a memorial of some sort very soon, and I will be looking for one or more charms to add to my bracelet for Taylor.

Not sure when we'll start trying again, or if. We're just taking it one moment at a time to try to get through this.